We’re always talking about self care, but what does it mean?
True self-care is not salt baths and chocolate cake, it is making the choice to build a life you don’t need to regularly escape from.
Brianna Wiest quote says it all. Create the kind of life you want to live. But it’s not always easy.
“It is often doing the ugliest thing that you have to do,” Wiest says “Like sweat through another workout or tell a toxic friend you don’t want to see them anymore or get a second job so you can have a savings account or figure out a way to accept yourself so that you’re not constantly exhausted from trying to be everything, all the time….”
For this holiday season, I put together a list of self-care gifts to help you build the areas of your life you want to strengthen and face the things you try to avoid.
Of course, I’ve also included lots of gifts just so you can enjoy.
Self-care gifts for your writing life
Pitch and write articles for pay
You’ve been wanting to pitch but aren’t sure where to start. Or you want to up your current pitching game. Get your copy of Susan Shapiro’s The Byline Bible: Get Published in Five Weeks. With tons of glowing reviews, this book is one of the best things you can do to get your writing published in top publications. 
Get your copy of The Byline Bible.
Make your characters come alive
Whether biting her lip to hold back a giggle or throwing her head back in full-throated amusement, The Emotion Thesaurus: A Writer’s Guide to Character Expression helps you create characters who will make your readers feel what they’re feeling.
Choose from a list of hundreds of possible emotions to inspire your writing and build deeper, more believable characters.
Get your copy of The Emotion Thesaurus here.
Create a plan for your writing life
I wrote The Writer’s Roadmap: Paving the Way To Your Ideal Writing Life after a decade of helping writers create business plans for their writing life. In the book, I outline a system I developed after years of feeling frustrated with my own writing opportunities. What changed for me? I started seeing my writing as a business and then set about making a plan to get me where I wanted to go.
It’s available as an ebook. Or if you like pages to mark up and take notes, the paperback has extra pages to mark, scribble, and outline your plans.
Get your copy of The Writer’s Roadmap here.
Find your writing community
Writing is a solitary act, and every writer needs a community. When you’re looking for a group to cheer you on and hold you accountable to your writing plans, The Inspired Writer Community offers support, accountability resources, and more. First, you’ll create a plan for your writing life using The Writer’s Roadmap book. Then, using the resources in the community, you’ll make your ideal writing plan a reality.
The Inspired Writer Community opens a couple of times each year for new members. Sign up for the waiting list here.
Sign up for the Inspired Writer Community now.
Take care of your body and mental well-being
Breathe in the beauty of lavender.
Lavender essential oil is an incredible way to calm your mind, sleep more soundly, and get rid of headaches. I include this in the list because this oil has amazing memories for me. We visited Chateau de Bois as we were driving through France in the first few months after leaving Brooklyn to travel full-time.
I highly recommend visiting in person if you can. Or buy online. It’s not cheap, but a small bottle lasts a long time.
Get Your Lavender Oil Here.
Smooth your skin and smell amazing.
Every time I visit Atlanta, I stop by Bath and Body Works for gifts. I love their seasonal blueberry body lotion, but if that’s not available, there are lots of other options that leave your skin smelling amazing.
Check out these little tubes of hand lotion, perfect for popping into your bag so you can keep your hands smooth in the winter chill or the summer sun. They’re two for the price of three, so obviously one is a gift for yourself.
Self-care gifts for your reading list
Beyond Anxiety by Martha Beck
We live in a world that pushes us to keep going, work harder, and push more. It’s no wonder so many people are anxious all the time. That pace isn’t sustainable. This book teaches you how to slow down and focus on what your heart wants so you can be more creative. When creativity is your focus, it’s impossible to feel anxious at the same time.
Buy your copy of Beyond Anxiety here.
The Way of Integrity by Martha Beck
This is the first book I’ve read by Martha Beck. How many people do you know who are living lives that conform to what the people around them think they should be doing? Maybe that’s you. This book takes you step-by-step through the process of recognizing that the life you have isn’t the one you want, to creating a new way of living.
Get your copy of The Way of Integrity here.
Little Fires Everywhere by Celeste Ng
This book has been in my Top Five Books since I read it almost a decade ago. Isn’t that the kind of writing you want to put in the world?
My favorite scenes illustrate the trial and error, patience needed, and methodical experimentation required to create art. It’s one of the most accurate mirrors of the process of writing a book that I’ve ever seen.
Get your copy of Little Fires Everywhere here.
The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho
This book is for anyone who has ever felt lost on her journey, and who hasn’t felt lost at some point? It takes you on a journey through your life so you can understand that where you are now is exactly where you need to be.
“When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.” Of course, you have to take action and take the first steps of your journey.
Get your copy of The Alchemist here.
The Dip by Seth Godin
We’re often told never to give up. Never Quit. The Dip makes the case that sometimes, it’s actually better to move on when something isn’t working. The trick is knowing when it’s time to say no. The Dip offers guidelines for making a decision to stop or keep going.
Get your copy of The Dip here.
Self-care that you don’t want to do.
Self-care also means doing the things you don’t want to do, but once you do them, you’re happier, healthier, and more organized. They make your life easier and happier.
Pay for a bookkeeper to keep your accounts in order and make tax season easier.
Pay for a day of housekeeping.
Buy your domain name and create your website.
Install a sign-up on your website to collect e-mail addresses for your mailing list.
Make that doctor’s appointment you’ve been putting off.
Go to the dentist. (Ugh, I know.)
Self-care for your creative life.
Draw, paint, or sculpt something
Binders is the art store I visited in high school. From pencils and paint to sketchbooks and clay, there are endless ways to create art with your hands. Even if you don’t consider yourself an artist, do it anyway. You can sketch your own face, assemble a vision board, or make a collage from scraps of paper you find at home. The ideas are endless.
Get your Binders art supplies here.
Self-care gifts you give for free
Set aside half an hour every day to walk in silence.
Take a nap
Walk in the woods
Compliment yourself.
Recognize your accomplishments.
Go to sleep early.
Or sleep late.
Say no when you want to say no
Adopt a pet.
Plant something. I filled a pot with soil and pushed old piece of ginger I found in the fridge. After three weeks, this happened.
It may not be pretty (yet), but it makes me happy.
Some other ways to take care of yourself for absolutely no money at all:
Dance
Take a bath
Turn off all your tech for the weekend.
Ask someone you love for something you want.
Self-care can be soft and easy. It can also be scary and hard. Whatever you do, self-care fills your life with ease and self-love. The more you practice, the better it feels!
