You know how it is. When you sit down to write and that quiet little voice calmly tells you, “What if I can’t do it?” “What if this is shit?” But in order to work, you have to overcome self-doubt, but we all know it’s not that simple. Do you know the top three reasons people don’t write? Fear, anxiety and self-doubt. One woman with whom I’m working on writing a book of short stories posted on Facebook that she wants to virtually burn her book. No, she really won’t burn it. It’s the doubt that’s getting to her.
It happens to all of us, happened to me just yesterday in fact.
Those of you who don’t yet know, I’m writing a book. It’s based on the baby journal I kept while pregnant with Lila. I completed the first step — reading through the journal, make notes and identify themes — with ease. Yesterday, I moved onto the next step. Now, I’m faced with the tedious process of grouping parts of the book by theme. What if it doesn’t work? What if I should structure the thing chronologically instead of writing chapters by theme? What if I can’t do this? These questions flip through my mind so quickly, I barely realize they’re there. I do, however, notice the tightening in my stomach and an overpowering desire to check Facebook.
What to do about it?
Simple. When that doubt says “What if?” push the thought aside and keep going. Think about this logically. What exactly leads you to believe that you won’t write something wonderful? Say you’ve been producing excellent work until now.. You’ve been moving on a solid path. You have skills. There is no reason to believe that suddenly, you won’t be able to create anything of value. What if you don’t believe you’ve ever written well? I’ve worked with thousands of writers, and I’ve learned we are not the best judge of our own work. That’s also how I know if you’re writing, you have at some point produced writing of value. You just don’t recognize it yet. Ira Glass talks about those of us who are just beginning in a creative field when our ability doesn’t yet match the high standards of our excellent taste. We know what we want to create, we just haven’t created it yet. This is when many people just quit. Don’t. Instead, set deadlines for yourself, keep producing. It is crucial that you have patience with yourself. Have faith that you will find your way through. In my case, I may go through the 200 pages of writing that I already have and find that no, it won’t work. Then you know what I’ll do? I’ll go back to the beginning and try another structure. It’s either that or give up.
This is why I won’t give up and neither should you
I see similar issues with another new client. She’s working on a young adult novel. She knows every detail of the world she’s creating. And I’ll add, it’s absolutely gorgeous. She’s written the first four chapters and wants to perfect them before she moves to the next. She’s been perfecting for at least a year now. Perfection is another trap that allows us to think we’re actually working when in reality, we’re stuck. As long as we’re tweaking and moving things around, though, it feels like we’re being productive. It also helps us avoid the frustration and fear of creating when we aren’t quite sure where we’re headed. A post from Seth Godin, Poke the Box vs meh, perfectly describes why we prefer to fool ourselves and the danger inherent in allowing ourselves to get stuck.
The real work comes after the novelty wears off. This work creates value, because given control over our actions, most of us stall, float sideways or sabotage the work. Because it’s unsafe. How could it be any other way? Change is always risky, because change moves us from what we know to what we don’t. So we say, “meh.” We talk ourselves out of shipping, because, hey, it’s easier to just stay here, where at least it is safe and warm. There’s no building on fire, no layoffs today. At least for now. So we don’t jump, we wait until we’re pushed, when, of course, it’s too late.
These are the sneaky ways that lizard brain seeps into the cracks of self-confidence and creativity. It creeps in and faster than you can imagine tears away at our ability to create. The “I-can’t-do-it” voice speaks so softly, and yet it wields enormous power if you let it.
It is up to you to stop it.
Will you make mistakes? Yes. Will you write things that are shit? Sometimes. Will you find you have to go back and tediously rework pages of writing because of a wrong choice you made? Maybe. You will also make excellent choices, craft perfect sentences and create fabulous worlds and characters that will delight an impatiently waiting public. There are tips to get you through the stuck. You can find a community of writers for support. Or try something else. Ultimately, you have to decide for yourself that you will finish writing. The three people I mention in this post? I have read their writing. I promise you that beyond a doubt, they are fabulous writers and thinkers. I cannot wait to see their work when finished and I am honored to be working with them. It would be a great shame were their work to get stuck somewhere in the swamp of meh. So keep going. Pull out that mental machete and slog through the jungle of words until you find your way through. Your other option is to watch a movie, do something else that allows you to temporarily hide from fear by procrastinating. If you choose this, though, you will never overcome self doubt. You will never create something to publish. You will never find out just how beautifully you write and how wonderful your creations can be.
