If you’re like so many of my clients, you have a clear idea of what it means to be a writer. Only problem is, you don’t yet believe you fit that image in your head.
You, like so many, have a long list of preconditions, judgments, strictures and rules for what it means to be a writer. Those thoughts are holding you back.
Which of these dialogues run in your head when you think about being a writer?
There are the self sabotaging thoughts.
- I must write a certain way.
- I need a better plan.
- I don’t want to pigeonhole myself.
- I don’t want to do it at all if I don’t do it right.
Have you created a system of What-Must-Be that stands in the way of your writing? Get rid of this thinking immediately. You will never Suddenly Become what you think you must be. Instead, you have to work toward it. You must create a plan and test it. You have to sit and write, edit, cut and throw away pages and pages of writing.
Writing badly, I’m here to tell you, is part of the writing process. Writing badly teaches you what to cut, what you like and what kind of writer you ultimately want to be.
The fear based thoughts.
- I’m scared of putting myself out there.
- What if I suck?
- I’m a hack.
- I’m not good enough yet.
- I sound childish.
Let me tell you a secret. Most writers self criticize and put themselves down. It’s part of the job.
A recent Salon article talked to various well know, successful and already published writers feel the same way. In a recent Salon article titled Literary Self Loathing, writers like Elizabeth Gilbert and Jonathan Franzen explain how they quell that little voice that says “Hey! You suck. Why bother?”
I experience shame and self-reproach more or less continually,” Jonathan Franzen (author of “Freedom”) told me. “The only way to deal with it is to keep trying to immerse myself in the fictional dream and hope that good sentences come out of that. Once there are good sentences on the page, I can feel a loyalty to them and start following their logic, and take refuge from myself.
In short, the only way to escape the negative thinking is to write. The more you practice, the easier it gets to quell those thoughts and really focus on your work.
Write more. Judge less. Your work improves. Sounds good, no?
The scarcity thinking thoughts.
- I have limited time.
- I want to do this on my own.
- I can’t afford to pay for someone to help me.
- I don’t have enough support.
Are you so wrapped up in fear and doubt that you that you forget to ask for help? Don’t make this mistake.
Everyone needs help and support. Let me repeat that. Every single writer out there needs help and support. We need editors, people to comment and copy editors. We need people who help us get out of our own heads and give us advice and guidance.
The key is finding the right people to help you.
It’s time to choose a new way of thinking.
Self loathing and judgment get you no where. They don’t fill journals, publish articles or write books. Self defeating thoughts only dig you deeper into a cycle of bad thinking. It’s time to change that.
